News that the world's biggest metal band would be headling Glastonbury 2014 has
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News that the world's biggest metal band would be headling Glastonbury 2014 has
News that the world's biggest metal band would be headling Glastonbury 2014 has split opinion among festival goers. But for Mick Wall, author of Metallica's biography Enter Night, there can be no better act to storm the Pyramid Stage on Saturday night.
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They've seen some strange stuff go down at Glastonbury over the years. From its "Pilton Pop, Blues & Folk" - as it was originally called - roots in 1970, where barely 1500 dedicated dope smokers found themselves sharing a muddy field with Tyrannosaurus Rex and Quintessence, the emphasis has always been on the "far out, man."
Indeed,Ray Ban UK, a quarter century passed before anyone but career-crusties took a serious interest. Like football, Glastonbury only really exploded into supernova status when TV took a punt on it and the nation stared, goggle-eyed at Orbital doing whatever the hell it was they were doing back in 1994.
Since then, we've had Manic Street Preachers telling the audience they should tear the place down (they didn't),Air Max, Bruce Springsteen pretending to even know where Glastonbury is (down a rabbit hole somewhere in deepest scrumpy country, since you ask "Brooce"),Air Max, the audience pretending they give a rat's arse about Status Quo, all topped off by several generations of middle class BBC presenters drooling about how "amazing" the whole thing is. Yawn.
This year though Glastonbury's vast round hole has outdone itself by booking the largest square-peg in its contrary history: Metallica. Cue: startled sounds from the media cattle fields. Metallica? But aren't they,Air Max Günstig, well…heavy metal?
Correctomundo. They are, in fact, the band that back in the Eighties, at a time when rock with a capital "R" had backcombed its hair and sold its soul to the power ballad, brought the medieval back into heavy metal. As epitomised by early anthems like "Creeping Death", which still opens their show.
Indeed, what fun it will be seeing how quickly the audience at the Pyramid Stage will take up the age-old Metalli-chant, mid-song, of "Die! Die! Die! Die! Die!"
And why not? Anyone who has been to a Metallica show anywhere in the world these past five years will have noticed the weird blend in their audience of hammerhead males seemingly trying to drill their bodies into the ground, and panda-eyed females who have miraculously found a way to dance to this music and look sexy at the same time. Livening up a crowd of willing supplicants already bombed out of their bazookas on the sheer thought of what Metallica might to do them should be a piece of piss, as drummer Lars Ulrich might say.
There will even be at least one song most of the Glasto-metalli-virgins will recognise, the band's massive 1991 mega-hit, "Enter Sandman", which did for the thrash metal generation what "All Right Now" did for the original heavy rockers: give us a song even a mother could love,Nike Air Max, let alone a gen-u-ine,Ray Ban Glasses, balls-of-steel motherf***er.
But why stop there? Here are four further reasons why Metallica at Glastonbury is destined to become one of those never-to-be-forgotten, written-in-blood moments in history:
1. In case you didn't know, Metallica rool - it's official. Their 1991 album, Metallica,Billig Air Max, aka "The Black Album",Nike Air Max, sold more copies worldwide than Bob Dylan has in his entire career. [Ed's note: If this isn't strictly true it should be.]
2. Metallica know death. Their first album in 1983 was Kill 'Em All. Their last album in 2008, Death Magnetic. Their stage lights come in coffin-shaped cabinets. You wanna get high on life, then get to know, death, baby.
3. Other metal bands bow down to Metallica. "People talk about the Big Four," says Megadeth's Dave Elefson. "Us,Ray Ban Wayfarer, Slayer and Anthrax. But there is only a Big One - Metallica. The rest of us feed off the crumbs."
4. As Metallica singer James Hetfield says: "I don't give a f***ing f*** who you are, get the f*** up off your f***ing asses or get the f***ing f*** out." That's told you then.
Metallica headline Glastonbury on 28 June,Ray Ban Sunglasses.
Metallica: Enter Night: The Biography by Mick Wall (Orion) is out now. mickwall.com
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